Beyond Words Chapter 32 - Alternate POV

Cat 

Tears burned down my cheeks, blurring my vision as wind whipped my hair around my face. Wouldn’t you know, the moment I needed to leave The Hut in a hurry, a storm decided to blow in and I didn’t have the top on the Jeep. So I stood in the parking lot, needing to run, run, run, while fighting to get the top on before the rain came. 

This day. All of it. It was too much for me. I was crumbling under the weight of it. 

Finding out about Mom. About Dad. 

Pouring my heart out to Lucas only to have him reject me, even though—according to his sister—he might actually love me. 

Telling Skywalker goodbye… 

My heart lay shredded in my chest. Struggling for breath. For sanity.  

I’d picked up the pieces of my life once already, thank you Nash, and now everything was falling apart again. I huffed a laugh that dissolved into a sob. Maybe I hadn’t put things back together as well as I thought. Maybe I’d been fooling myself. Maybe everything had been a disaster the entire time, but I couldn’t see because I was blinded by two men I had no right to love. 

“Katyd—”  

I scrunched my brow as the wind tried to yank the top out of my hands.  

Great. Now I’m hallucinating. 

No one at The Hut knew that nickname.  

It must have been some cruel twist of my imagination, mourning the loss of Skywalker, even though he was never mine to lose. 

“Katydid!” The voice was clearer this time. Unmistakable.  

Lucas. 

But how…? 

I froze, then slowly turned to face him as he raced across the parking lot, his phone clutched to his chest. He stopped in front of me, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of my face and oh my goodness I yearned for his touch. 

But he’d made it clear there was someone else.  

I wasn’t allowed to yearn for anything when it came to him. 

I stepped out of reach and tucked the lock of hair behind my ear, Harlow’s words echoing in my head. 

Lucas is in love with you… 

…in love with you… 

…love… 

That still-small voice rejoiced while I tried to make sense of him, standing in front of me, using the name he absolutely should not know. 

“What did you call me?” The wind tried to steal my voice and my hands shook, but I met his eyes with as much confidence as I could muster. 

“Katydid.” Lucas held out his phone as if it explained everything. The look on his face was equal parts shock, amazement, and awe. “I read your email.” 

The only email I sent was the one to Skywalker…unless I somehow sent it to the wrong person? But that couldn’t be. I replied in the thread. So how…? 

“What email?” I scowled, as wind slapped me in the face. 

“The one you sent me before you left.” 

“But I didn’t send you…” I shook my head because it couldn’t be. There was no way. It required too many coincidences… 

…and not just little ones, but giant, insane, impossible coincidences… 

…but then… 

…so many pieces of the puzzle fell into place and the answer was right there. I’d almost guessed it so many times. God. That day on the boat. I had known…then talked myself right out of knowing. 

But… 

“Are you Skywalker?” 

Lucas nodded, his voice quiet, his face awed. “Can you believe it?” 

He stared at me like he’d found a treasure. The way I wanted him to look at me when I kissed him yesterday.  

I couldn’t believe it. 

I wouldn’t believe it. 

I’d fallen into an upside-down world where nothing made sense and Lucas both loved me and didn’t want me. And my Dad loved my mom and she was dying for the second time and… 

“You’re Skywalker?” 

“I am.” 

Too many questions buzzed through my brain. They tangled together with all the horrible things that had happened to me. With Nash and his screaming hussy with the bodacious tatas. With Utopia closing and mob connections and sleeping on Chris’s couch. With the mortification of finding someone’s comment in my journal and the slow-motion fall into vulnerability as I poured my heart out to a strange man via email. 

All while falling in love with Lucas. 

And hating myself for it. 

This was too much. 

And he just stared, half-smiling, expectant, like I was supposed to make sense of it all and laugh. Or fall into his arms…or what? What was I supposed to do? What did he expect to happen now? I’d stood there on that beach, giving myself to him, and he chose Katydid…which meant he still chose me, even when he rejected me. 

My stomach churned. My brows drew together. My jaw clenched because I was either going to throw up, cry, or say something horrible, standing there in the parking lot, with one man instead of two. 

Lucas opened his mouth, then shut it again, then cupped my cheek and kissed me. His lips hit mine with a promise that scared me to death. I wasn’t ready for this. My heart couldn’t stand another tragedy. And my body? My body had forgotten how to respond to a man’s touch. 

Although, as his hands ran down my back, pressing me against the hard planes of his abs and chest, my body warmed. Throbbed. Awakened. Desire tightened my muscles and… 

…and… 

I stepped back, confused. Angry. In love.  

I slapped Lucas across the face, then dropped my jaw. I’d never done that before. I’d never…why did I do that? Especially to him? 

“Cat…” 

His voice sent adrenaline surging through my body and before I knew what I was doing, I slapped him again. Then stepped into his arms and kissed him. 

I gave him everything with that kiss, sliding my hands up his muscular arms as I parted my lips, inviting him in. I melted into him. Accepting. Yearning. This…this was the man…Lucas was Skywalker and I was his. 

I had been from the start. 

The wind revolted around us. Rain slapped against skin, matting my hair to my forehead and my shirt to my chest. I pulled back to meet Lucas’s gaze, laughing, overwhelmed. I had so much to say, but couldn’t find the words. 

He swept me into his arms and carried me back to the house, pushing past a shocked Wyatt, to climb the steps and lay me on his bed.  

For a long moment, Lucas stared down at me like he couldn’t believe I was real, then tugged off his shirt with a grin that promised I’d never be the same again.